I grew up believing in God, but for a long time, I didn’t really trust Him.
My faith was mostly inherited. My parents believed, and while we weren’t consistently in church, I grew up around things like VBS and Christian environments. As I got older, church became more social than spiritual for me. I knew about God, but I didn’t actually know Him personally.
From freshman through junior year, I lived with one foot in and one foot out. I wanted the comfort of faith without fully surrendering my life. Outside of church, I lived however I wanted. I struggled with sin, confusion, and constantly feeling like I needed to “fix myself” before coming to God.
But even in that season, God was planting seeds through people around me.
When I was in 8th grade, my cousin Paul passed away from stage 4 cancer. It was the first time I had experienced death so closely, and it shook me deeply. But what stood out most was the peace he carried. Even in suffering, he trusted God completely, and in the end, he passed peacefully because of that faith.
Then during my sophomore year, my grandma passed away unexpectedly. I was very close to her, and one of the hardest parts was never getting to say goodbye. Once again, though, I saw something powerful: real faith. Both my cousin and my grandma showed me what it looked like to genuinely trust God, even in difficult circumstances. 
At the time, I still didn’t fully understand that kind of faith for myself.
Then came junior year – probably the lowest point of my life.
I got really sick and was constantly in and out of doctors’ offices. At one point, I was told it could possibly be cancer. Mentally and emotionally, I hit rock bottom. I was overwhelmed with fear and questioning everything.
Right before one of my procedures, I remember being extremely stressed about what the answers might be. But in that moment, I finally prayed honestly. I told the Lord that whatever came from this situation, I would put my trust in Him.
Something changed after that.
Following the procedure, I felt a peace I can’t fully explain. The fear and anxiety that had consumed me suddenly lifted. My circumstances hadn’t fully changed yet, but internally, something had shifted.
For the first time, I understood what it means to “rejoice in suffering.”
Before then, verses like Romans 5:3–5 didn’t fully make sense to me. But through suffering, God was drawing me closer to Him. What I once saw as a burden became the very thing that deepened my faith.
I also realized something huge: I had spent years trying to clean myself up before going to God, when He was actually asking me to bring everything to Him as I was.
That realization changed the direction of my relationship with Him.
Now, I’m genuinely pursuing God for the first time in my life. I’m not perfect, and growth has been slow. I still struggle sometimes, but the difference is that I’m no longer trying to do it alone.
I used to believe in God from a distance. Now, I’m learning what it means to truly trust Him. 
By: Nathan Prather
High School Ministry Senior, Class of 2026