"If something terrible happens to one of my kids, I will die. I won't be able to cope."
If you’re a parent, you’ve likely muttered those words.
Well, as a mom for 36 years, I want to tell you that I did not die when devastation hit our family, and in fact, after a while, I did learn to cope. Not because I had superpowers or could put a positive spin on the situation, it was for one reason – God showed up when we called on Him and we took a million baby steps trying to find our way forward.
Fifteen years ago, when my son, Brian, was 17-years-old and about to start his senior year of high school, he sustained a life-changing injury when he dove through some waves at Newport Beach and hit the bottom. His body went numb and he knew he was in trouble as the waves kept washing over him.
Fortunately, he was in the water with two friends who got the attention of an alert lifeguard that remarkably he had been surfing with earlier in the day. They got Brian’s broken body to shore before he went under for the third time. My friend from Hillside who he had been staying with had the awful job of calling me with the terrible news. All I remember her saying was that Brian had been hurt and he couldn’t move his arms or legs. My first thought was, “This kid has been hurt tons of times. He’s tough. He plays football, skates, rides dirt bikes, and doctors have been putting him back together for years.”
Going through a storm but I won’t go down
I hear Your voice
Carried in the rhythm of the wind to call me out
You would cross an ocean so I wouldn’t drown
You’ve never been closer than You are right now
I hung up the phone and felt weirdly calm – not because I was a super Christian, but because three nights before his accident, as I was fighting sleep, I felt compelled for several hours to pray specifically for Brian. I really felt I was in a spiritual battle on his behalf. I finally fell asleep after I agreed with God that Brian belonged to Him and I trusted Him with his future. The next day Brian left for the beach, and I hugged him so hard he thought I was crazy.
You are Jireh, You are enough
And I will be content in every circumstance
You are Jireh, You are enough
Forever enough, Always enough
More than enough, Forever enough
As the day of the accident progressed and my family tried to get to Hoag Hospital in Friday afternoon traffic, we received a call from the neurosurgeon. We had a million questions: will Brian ever walk again? Is he in pain? What does this mean for his future? The doctor responded with, “Well first he will need to survive the surgery and then we will know more.”
This is the kind of news that made me just want to run away to avoid all of the pain; but as the parent, that wasn’t an option. My husband pulled the car over and he, my daughter and I prayed for Brian and his doctors. We thanked God that he was with great friends, a smart lifeguard and close family friends who knew what to do in this kind of emergency. We thanked God that he didn’t drown, which is common in this situation.
We made it to the ER right before they were going to take Brian into surgery. They wheeled him away and told us it would probably take 8 hours to repair his C-5 vertebrae. When we arrived in the waiting room, there were 40-50 friends there from Hillside. Several had been staying at the beach and even more made the drive to the hospital to support us and Brian.
I’m already loved, I’m already chosen
I know who I am, I know what You’ve spoken
I’m already loved, More than I could imagine
And that is enough
The waiting was excruciating. My stomach was in knots and fear was beyond just creeping in – it was was firmly trying to grab hold of me. As I waited, I kept repeating, “Why so downcast, oh my soul? Put your hope in God.” It was a song I learned in grade school based on Psalm 43:5 and I couldn’t get it out of my head. Despair is a terrible place to dwell. All the fears about Brian’s future that I thought I had turned over to God just a few nights before were gnawing at my gut and I was living every parent’s worst nightmare.
I have heard it said that we worry the most about the things in which we trust God the least. Did I trust God to take care of Brian in this surgery and during his recovery? Did I trust that God is the God of his Word? I knew that this was a situation that only God could help us with. I am so thankful that during one of the hardest nights of my life I was surrounded with a community of friends who were praying on my behalf when I couldn’t find the words – praying when all I could do was worry and praying for miracles to happen in that operating room.
If He dresses the lilies with beauty and splendor
How much more will He clothe you?
How much more will He clothe you?
If He watched over every sparrow
How much more does He love you?
Brian’s surgery went better than planned and the best news his surgeon told us was that he had no idea how much mobility Brian would regain. I took that as good news filled with possibility. In those early days we had an hourly prayer list, and we kept track of every answered prayer. As time went on, the prayer list turned into daily request and then request for specific recovery goals.
Brian started his senior year seven weeks post injury in a wheelchair he couldn’t even push. It was the deep love of a few great friends that pushed him all over his campus that made this possible. God really showed off that first year and Brian achieved great recovery. Since that time, Brian still works out twice a week and his body is still making progress. Yes, he is still in a wheelchair, but he can now push himself. He has gained back several muscle groups and functions that we were told would probably not return with his type of injury. ONLY GOD.
He drives, is an FAA-certified drone pilot and is a super independent young man. This has been an incredibly challenging 15 years. His injury shows up at the most inconvenient times and some days seem like a struggle. More than not, Brian takes it all in stride and he still amazes us with his capabilities. His journey of recovery is far from over. So many prayers have been answered and I still have some big ones I am waiting on.
God sees every need. He is enough.
It’s more than you ask, think or imagine
According to His power working in us
It’s more than enough
By: Teri Goodwin
Teri Goodwin
Teri is a Ministry Partner and is the Director of Creative Services for Hillside. Her interests include: going out to lunch, googling little known facts and the never-ending endeavor of learning how to golf.
Teri Goodwin
Teri is a Ministry Partner and is the Director of Creative Services for Hillside. Her interests include: going out to lunch, googling little known facts and the never-ending endeavor of learning how to golf.
Missed the Message?
Pastor Karl Romeus was with us last weekend and shared a message on JEHOVAH JIREH that you do not want to miss. Watch now!
CLICK HERE